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How does one discern a true calling from scrupulosity? I married last year, after what I thought had been a good discernment period, where I talked and worked with other priests who knew me, several of whom said, "Priesthood is not for you." Having had minor OCD and some scruples, since a few months into the marriage, I have questioned whether I made the right decision to marry. I keep thinking that I made a mistake in not going to the seminary, even though this is what my mom wanted and some other priests thought I'd be an excellent priest. Have there been other married men who have left their marriages because their call to priesthood never left them? Is it permissible? How do you know if this is TRULY God's will?
You would do well taking this to a therapist and/or Spiritual director. You have at least made a public commitment to your wife. If you were certain at the time that you were making a right choice and now in this time of doubt, you should still honor your previous commitment. No matter what, doubts can creep in - that is the presence of evil and sin in our life tempting us to walk away from all commitments when they become hard. My guess is that your are caught by your scruples or OCD (depending on the severity of the OCD and the treatment of it, you may not be psychologically able to pursue priesthood anyway). Talking about this with a wise person will help you sort out God's will in your life. There have been priests who were once married, but their wives either passed away or they received Declarations of Nullity (an 'annulment') on other grounds. To my knowledge, no tribunal grants one on the grounds that the person feels called to priesthood. |